Saturday, August 4, 2007

100 Scintilating Things About Me

1. I'm the little one in this picture.

2. My mother and three sisters are all petite blondes. I am tall with dark hair like my father.

3. I moved five times growing up.

4. I attended seven schools before college.

5. My father was not in the military.

6. I really did grow up in front of the television. One day it went out and my mother found me staring at it replaying the shows that should be on in my head.

7. All the adults in my life loved me and I was the very spoiled pet of the family.

8. I learned to read the newspaper to my grandfather when I was four.

9. I wore leg braces.

10. When I was three I had an allergic reaction and stopped breathing.

11. When I was four I electrocuted myself and stopped breathing.

12. When I was twelve I got badly burned, went into shock and stopped breathing.

13. All three times I saw the same young man who helped me before I was resuscitated.

14. I don't know if he's a figment of my imagination, but I believe in life after death.

15. I have very noticeable burn scars on my neck, arms and torso. I don't mind answering questions about them.

16. In the eighth grade Michael Breshette threw lighted matches at me to make me scream.

17. I hope Michael Breshette got the help he needed.

18. I believe that some people are truly evil.

19. I support the death penalty in extreme cases.

20. I think it's misused in the state of Texas.

21. My first job was working in the boys clothing department at Sanger Harris.

22. I spent most of my time reporting teenage girls shoplifting boys Polo Shirts.

23. I don't wear Polo shirts. They are for boys.

24. I loved working the next summer at Six Flags.

25. My nickname there was "Pep" because I had a Pepsodent Smile.

26. They used me in the new employee training film.

27. I got to stand behind a dumpster smooching a handsome boy as the "NO PDA" girl.

28. My father threatened to sue.

29. I am pictured in the Six Flags yearbook seven times for that year.

30. I was elected Senior Class Representative the next fall.

31. I had an awesome Senior year!

32. I got a Freshman Leadership scholarship to Texas Wesleyan.

33. I never served on the student council there but I was President of Young Democrats.

34. The girl who gave my prospective student tour is still my best friend.

35. I majored in International Business Administration with some vague idea of working as an auction house buyer in Paris. My minors were Art and History.

36. I wrote for the campus newspaper and yearbook.

37. I drew a cartoon about corruption in the administrative office that got the paper pulled.

38. The next year the University President was asked to step down due to corruption.

39. I was better at stirring pots than I was at schmoozing professors.

40. I was in college for a long time.

41. The best part of college was being tapped for Alpha Xi Delta women's fraternity.

42. My sorority is so old, it was formed before the word "sorority"was coined.

43. Men who collect sorority pins on ebay are creepy. (OK, that's not about me but sheesh! Can you say LOSER?)

44. I'm still active with Alpha Xi Delta today.

45. I did a summer study program in Westbury-Upon-Trym near Bristol.

46. I studied history and philosophy there while living in a Methodist Seminary.

47. I learned the difference between church and chapel in Westbury-Upon-Trym. The ladies of the town totally embraced me when it was discovered I was "church".

48. I like to say Westbury-Upon-Trym because it sounds like something out of a novel.

49. I kind of got lost in my third year and began drifting. My parents sent me out of state to concentrate on getting my MRS degree.

50. I met my husband at Salem University in West Virginia.

51. He snaked me away from one of his frat brothers.

52. We had our first date on Valentines Day 1986.

53. If I think of song, he'll start humming it.

54. My Spouse has an excellent singing voice.

55. One of my sorority sisters said I sing like a koala in heat.

56. When I introduced future Spouse to my friends over lunch at a nice restaurant, they asked him to stand on a chair so they could examine his bum. He did. They approved.

57. When I finally finished school, I was shocked to find out that entry level jobs for Museum Science majors (yes, that's what I ended up in) were mostly reserved for relatives of major contributors and paid almost nothing.

58. My first real I gotta pay my own bills job was teaching kindergarten in a parochial school.

60. My parents still gave me the most elaborate debutante wedding imaginable complete with four horse drawn carriages, live band and fourteen bridesmaids and groomsmen.

61. I absolutely have no regrets on spending that much for a party and scrimping for the next fifteen years to buy our first home.

62. I have a big bust and wide hips "built for breeding", what my family jokingly refers to as good peasant stock so I can give birth quickly and get back out in the fields.

63. I had a two hour labor with my son.

64. I had a twenty minute midwife assisted labor with my daughter and went home the same day.

65. I was an "earth mother"; no television, no microwave, organic baby food, cloth diapers, baby sling, family bed, La Leche League, MOMS, Birkenstocks and braids, the works.

66. My Spouse thinks I look hot in peasant skirts and sandals. I do not.

67. The happiest time in my life was when we lived on the New Hampshire seacoast, poor as church mice, happy as clams and far away from big city stress.

68. My New England hubby was thrilled to be transferred to Texas. We now live in my big city hometown 1.2 miles from my parents.

69. I gained 70 pounds after moving back home.

70. I am a palatial home in a dicey neighborhood kind of gal. Spouse is a modest home in a good neighborhood kind of guy. We compromised with a modest home in the best school district in the city.

71. Biggest volunteer home run: Moving the school auction to a brewery. Profits shot up into six digit range. Amazing how much more money can be raised when beer is involved.

72. I passed on my tap for the Junior League.

73. I passed on my nomination for P.T.O. officer.

74. I'm pretty adamant nowadays about setting boundaries and only volunteering to do what I want when I want after years of not being able to say no. Life is so much better and the world kept on turning and nobody hates me. Young mothers take note!

75. My ring fingers are significantly longer than my index fingers. This indicates high levels of testosterone in vitro and a propensity for hogging the remote control.

76. Three movies I have never watched more than a few minutes of because I find them so repugnant even though the rest of the free world loves them: Rocky, Dirty Dancing, and Thelma and Louise.

77. Three movies I drop everything to watch even though I've seen them a bajillion times and the rest of the free world sneers at them: Pretty Woman, Sabrina with Audrey Hepburn, and The Nutty professor with Jerry Lewis.

78. Um, ok so I also drop everything for the Lana Turner version of Imitation of Life, To Wong Foo ..., and Fast Times at Ridgemont High if it's not the edited for TV version.

79. I don't like milk chocolate.

80. My gran kept a jar of white fudge on her dining room table just for me.

81. Apricots dipped in dark chocolate make me salivate.

82. I believe only dogs drool.

83. Although I may occasionally glisten or glow, the men in my life perspire. I believe only horses and iced tea glasses sweat.

84. I believe iced coffee is an abomination.

85. Speaking of coffee, I prefer mine light with no sweetening. My regular Starbucks order is a venti latte with nutmeg.

86. When I am exhausted or irate my southern accent becomes very strong.

87. My favourite dinner is Liver and Onions. I have not cooked liver and onions since my wedding day.

89. My Spouse says he married me for my chocolate souffle. I have not made him a chocolate souffle since 1990. If he bends on the liver, I might bend on the chocolate.

90. I like to tell people I'm not into reality TV but I lurved the first Joe Millionaire and My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance and I watch all of the reality TV shows on Bravo, even the really awful ones.

91. I miss Anna Nicole Smith and her adorable son, Daniel.

92. Best Reality show of all time? Beauty and the Geek. Hands down. No discussion. I'm really not into reality TV. Really.

93. I not only sing in the car, I Dance.

94. I walked across a bed of nails for a Tai Chi class. I also studied Jiu Jitsu. Blue belt. I'm scary.

95. I accidentally kicked my 6'1 hubby in the head once. He thought it was hot.

96. My son split open a 100 lb. karate bag with his bare foot. My daughter can hit a golf ball onto the green from 200 yards. I don't like to brag about my children.

97. I'm looking forward to growing into a sassy old lady with my dirty old man spouse.

98. My greatest foible is my pride. I really am a terrible snob.

99. My best quality is my short memory and the ability to say I'm sorry and mean it, especially with my kids.

100. I'm very disappointed that I can only tell one hundred things about fascinating me. This is what I look like now:

You can e-mail me at


Jennifer said...


I pledged Alpha Xi Delta when I was in college, but I'm sorry to say that my experience was not as positive as yours.

You really kicked your husband in the head once. That must have been a wicked moment.

Leslie said...

Loved reading these 100 things about you...I learned a few things!

and I love your wit, always cracks me up!

Special K ~Toni said...

Wow! I think this is the first 100's list that I read the entire way through!

Very fascinating!

Nancy said...

I have to agree with Toni .... a list fun and fascinating enough to read in it's entirety.

j said...

Gawed..... I miss you. I have the stupidest grin across my face right now. Tell me again why we don't live in the same city and stay up all night drinking coffee anymore? or... watching Pretty Woman, or anything with Katherine Hepburn? I want to be Kate when I grow old and visit you and your dirty old man. Awesome!

Poppy Buxom said...

You are my doppelganger.

Come on! It's so true!

Check it out: modest house in excellent school district; New Hampshire seacoast; two children, a boy and a girl; and most important:

learned to say "no" to volunteer opportunities.